just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
