so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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