well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
