Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
