I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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