3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
