..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
