You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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