mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize