If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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