I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
