You can't motorboat a personality
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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