You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
