Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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