Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
