I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
