Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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