Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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