I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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