I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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