So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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