Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
