wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
