I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
