You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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