I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
