it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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