she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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