Your dad touched me again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
