I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
