What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
