Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
