He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize