YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
God I need to hump something, right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
