He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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