she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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