It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize