She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
