On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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