She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
MIDGETS
????
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
