gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
