Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
