He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
