That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
