i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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