Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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