She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
