Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize