i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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