please come you make the beer taste better
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
