I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Screwed.edu
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize