oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
soo... how was my night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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