Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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