i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
