it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
