their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
