part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
dude. I can hear the air.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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