He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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