HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize