what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
